What 'Casual Dating' Actually Means in 2026: UK Users Explain

Can we talk about how absolutely useless the term "casual dating" has become? I've matched with people who say they want "something casual" and it's meant everything from "let's meet once for a shag" to "let's basically be in a relationship but never call it that."

Honestly, it's gotten ridiculous. I spent months confused about what I even wanted because everyone's using the same words to mean completely different things. So I started asking people straight up: what does casual actually mean to you? The answers were all over the shop.

When "Casual" Means Just Physical

There's a subset of people for whom casual dating is literally just about sex. No dinners, no deep chats, no meeting friends. Just straightforward physical connection when you're both free and interested. To be fair, at least these folks are usually pretty upfront about it.

I matched with a guy in London who spelled it out in his first message: he was looking for regular hookups with someone he found attractive and could have a laugh with, but that was it. No dates, no texting between meetups. I actually really appreciated the clarity, even though it wasn't what I wanted.

The problem is most people who want this type of casual won't say it that directly. They'll put "casual" on their profile and expect you to just know. Then everyone gets confused and someone ends up feeling led on.

When "Casual" Means Dating Without Pressure

This is where I landed, eventually. I like going on actual dates. I like getting to know someone, having proper conversations, maybe catching a gig together or trying that new restaurant. But after getting out of a three-year relationship, I was not ready for anything serious.

So casual for me meant: let's enjoy each other's company without the "where is this going?" conversation hanging over us. We can see each other regularly, we can care about each other, but we're not planning futures or merging lives.

Turns out loads of people want this but we all struggle to articulate it. Because it's not "just sex" but it's also not "let's see if we should move in together." It's genuinely just enjoying someone without the relationship pressure, and there's no good shorthand for that.

When "Casual" Means Non-Exclusive

Met someone at a party who explained she was ethically non-monogamous. For her, casual meant she was seeing multiple people and I'd need to be okay with that. Which, fair enough. At least she was honest about it from the start.

But here's the thing - she still wanted depth. Like, proper emotional connection and regular communication. The "casual" part was just about not being exclusive, not about keeping things surface-level.

This confused me at first because I thought non-exclusive automatically meant superficial. Turns out you can have meaningful connections with multiple people. It's just a different structure, not a different depth of feeling.

When "Casual" Means "I Don't Know Yet"

Then there are people who genuinely don't know what they want until they meet someone. They say "casual" because it feels like the safe option - keeps all doors open without committing to any particular outcome.

I get it, I really do. Sometimes you meet someone and the chemistry's brilliant but you have no idea if this should be a fling, a friendship, or potentially something more. Saying "casual" buys you time to figure it out.

The downside is you might match with someone who interprets "casual" as "definitely never wants a relationship," and then things get messy when feelings develop. Which happened to me, actually. We both said casual, we both secretly left the door open for more, and neither of us admitted it until months in. Proper mess.

When "Casual" Means a Long-Term Thing That's Not a "Relationship"

This one properly threw me. I know someone who's been seeing the same person for nearly two years. They're exclusive, they spend every weekend together, they've met each other's families. But they still call it casual because they don't live together and aren't planning their lives around each other.

At first I thought they were just in denial about being in a relationship. But talking to them more, I realized they genuinely see a distinction. To them, a "real relationship" means cohabiting, shared finances, long-term planning. What they have is committed but compartmentalized, which feels different enough to still qualify as casual.

Makes you wonder what "relationship" even means anymore, doesn't it?

Why This Confusion Is Actually Getting Worse

I think part of the problem is that the old relationship script has completely broken down. My parents' generation had clear steps: date, get serious, move in, get married. Everyone knew what stage they were at.

Now? People are getting married later or not at all. Living together doesn't necessarily mean you're serious. Being Instagram official isn't universal anymore. Without these shared milestones, how do you even define what's casual versus serious?

Dating apps haven't helped. They force you to pick: relationship or casual. There's no nuance, no room for "it depends" or "I'm figuring it out." So everyone clicks "casual" when what they really mean is "not immediately looking for marriage," and then you get matched with people who mean something completely different.

What I Learned From All This Confusion

After way too many mismatched connections and awkward conversations, here's what I figured out: the word "casual" is basically useless without context. You have to actually ask people what they mean.

Yeah, it feels awkward. Yeah, it might "kill the vibe." But you know what's more awkward? Three months in, discovering you wanted completely different things all along.

These days, if someone says they're looking for casual, I ask: does that mean you're seeing other people? Do you want to go on actual dates or just hook up? Are you open to this changing if we really click? How often are you thinking we'd see each other?

Most people appreciate the directness, honestly. The ones who get defensive about it are usually the ones who were being deliberately vague, which tells you everything you need to know.

And I've gotten better at knowing what I actually want. Right now, I want casual dating that involves substance - regular dates with someone I actually like talking to, but without the pressure of building toward anything specific. That's a mouthful compared to just saying "casual," but at least it's honest.

The Bottom Line

Casual dating in 2026 doesn't mean one thing. It's an umbrella term that's covering about seventeen different relationship styles, and we're all pretending we're talking about the same thing when we're absolutely not.

The only solution I've found is to ditch the shorthand and actually say what you want. It feels vulnerable and awkward, but it beats the alternative of months of confusion and hurt feelings.

And honestly? The people who are willing to have those direct conversations early on tend to be the same people who are respectful and considerate throughout. So maybe the awkward clarity is doing double duty as a filter for the good ones.

Just... stop assuming everyone means the same thing you do when they say casual. Ask. Explain. Be specific. It'll save you so much grief.